4 Weeks post-surgery recovery update

Wow, that's a catchy title eh? Sounds like the title of a medical paper, hmmm

Okay how about:

The Adventures of Tara and her new-improved-NON-wooden foot!

??

Yes dear readers, today for the first time in weeks Tara actually has mobility in her right foot - huzzah! I hadn't realised how stiff the whole joint was until today when I attempted to point the toes on my right foot in line with my left and could only get about halfway between fully-flexed and pointed (i.e. 'good toes' vs 'naughty toes' ballet style....) - not good!

Now however, thanks to the fabulous Graham Anderson (who has been my long-suffering physio since I took my first injury-prone steps into the world of running back in 2004), from Balance Physio (in Clapham, London), I now have almost full flexion and I can actually walk without a limp - double huzzah!

I also have some good calf stretches to do, plus a plethora of specific resistance band exercises to boot - all of which I found spectacularly difficult today given the state of my poor withered calf and quads... yes, atrophy has set in big style!! It's heart-breaking really, can't stand seeing good muscle go to waste but what can I do... It's only been this week when I've really been able to put weight on my right foot and that's still only slight...

...and don't get me started on the hand blisters!! You'd think that after using crutches solidly for weeks my hands would adapt, but in fact every day hurt even more than the previous!

Positives though... (and we should always look to the positives during times of discomfort) my lats are *hugely* stronger following my brief sojourn to the land of two crutches and zero right leg weight!! The movement is similar to that of gymnasts on the Olympic Rings. Also, my left leg was my weakest - not so any more!! Likewise my left glutes, not good either or calf for that matter. Now that I've become one-legged-peg or Herr Flick as my other half has so affectionately named me!! Those of you who are too young to remember... of for whom 'Allo 'Allo regrettably (or perhaps thankfully!) passed you by, Herr Flick was a member of the Gestapo who possessed a rather unfortunate limp... I might be able to find a video of it, hang on...

ahh yes, here we go, 'tis I!



well, according to my ever loving(??) boyfriend anyway! Although not any longer!

So yes, I've got the resistance band exercises as well as a rather nifty one somewhat akin to a leg press but not so as obviously I am unable to use that machine right now!

It's kind like this - you lie on your back with one foot (not two like in the picture) pushed against a swiss/stability/gym (whatever you want to call it!) ball and push deep into the ball.


This way I'm working my glutes and my quads (as long as I don't turn my knee in which is something I got picked up on!), but not to the cost of my recovery as it's not fully body weight - I obviously can't exert the same force pushing through my foot as I could if I were pushing against a weight stack or even my own bodyweight (think step-ups which are a no-no!!).

This exercise also has the added advantage of increasing stability in my hips as it's a unilateral move and I have to work to keep the ball from rolling away from underneath my foot!

The only disappointment during the session was that Balance's ultra-cool Alter-G anti-gravity treadmill:



was unfortunately out of use at the time I went so I wasn't able to don the spectacular Alter-G Shorts... which remind me of Wallace & Gromit for some reason...



:-D

...and basically run in an air bubble at a fraction of my bodyweight!

Boo :-(

I am however booked in next week for some more physio advice, ankle manipulation and fun on the anti-gravity treadmill too - whoop! Very excited, it'll be the first time I've moved faster than a lolloping limp/slow dragging walk in almost 5 weeks!!

Good gosh! I've peaked too early I'm afraid... I was meant to tell you my recent news in chronological order and the like but have totally screwed that up so I guess I'll rewind a bit and enlighten you on my slow progress to date since I last offered some rambling text up to you all a couple of weeks ago. Okay, let's go back, waaaay back...

In fact, this might be helpful - here's an surgery time-line for you:

07/01/2011 - Arthroscopic surgery of the right ankle

08/01/2011 - Home for 2 weeks rest

10/01/2011 - First day on my own since the surgery, had to negotiate stairs on my own and solve such complex puzzles as how to get a full cup of coffee through from the kitchen to the living room when you're on two crutches and can only put one foot down. (Click here for ingenious solution ;-) ). Lunch items such as soup were also a bit of an enigma... *whyyyyy* did I think soup was a good idea to buy pre-surgery, I wasn't sick, just incapacitated! The answer to this problem was to decant said soup into a (tightly sealed!) tupperware box and carry in a bag on the arm of one crutch... (I avoided soup as much as possible during the two weeks I had off work!)

14/01/2011 - first attempt at gentle post-surgery exercise

16/01/2011 - second attempt at gentle post-surgery exercise

18/01/2011 - The *first* time I was able to put a small amount of weight on my right foot without feeling like I would scream... yes, a whole 11 days later!!

20/01/2011 - Dressing, padding and surgical wrapping removed (so first day I was able to move my foot at all post-surgery)... heel started feeling less numb a few days later.

Having all the wrappings removed was rather a relief, not least because of the increased mobility, but also because I'd been terrified that my ankle was actually *as* swollen as it appeared with all the bandages on!

It turns out it was a lot less so and my 2 weeks of careful rest has resulted in an ankle my surgeon was actually very pleased with!



The dimpling is from the clever gauze stuff they had between my skin and the padding to draw away any bleeding (if present) from the skin... rather like running technical t-shirts... wicking material, v clever! The dots on the right side of my foot are where my surgeon marked out my nerves for reference during the operation and I'm pleased to report that they're all still intact!!

Oh and please forgive the dreadful toenails... I'm not a terribly girly girl, so on the rare occasion that I painted my toenails for the UKBFF Stars of Tomorrow show last year I a) bought cheap nailpolish not realising it really made difference, and b) didn't take it off for yonks.... ooops, hence stained toenails - oh well... It's a good job my boyfriend doesn't have a foot fetish really!

Oh, while I was at my post-surgery appointment I was shown the pictures from the operation that they took inside my foot.... HUGELY exciting for me, I got to keep them too (after asking nicely!), looky here!



IMG_001 shows the bit of cartilage - the OCD (Osteochondral Defect) - that had partially broken off and was flapping about and 'catching' when I performed twisting movements like in netball or put my weight on my foot while it wasn't in a stable flat position - i.e. wearing heels or standing on tiptoe. IMG_006 also shows the same thing (I think!). In IMG_005 you can clearly see the lump of inflamed tissue that was also present in my ankle that Mr Davies removed. Not sure about the other pictures though to be honest, not that great at making sense of medial ankle images!

22/01/2011 - first time walking on both feet (albeit obviously mega-crutch-assisted!), the previous day and a bit had been spent feeling like someone had beaten me about the ribs and back because of the muscle ache from all the work on both crutches going to and from the foot and ankle centre! I also managed another gentle workout this day - picture update to follow soon (fingers crossed!)

24/01/2011 - first day back at work, very much enjoyed someone else doing the cooking at lunch time and managed an upper body workout straight after work. However I only took one crutch with me. Error. Ankle horribly sore and swollen by the end of the day:



25/01/2011 - had to take day off to rest and ice my ankle. Very pleased that I did though and didn't just try and man it up and go to work as it felt remarkably better the next day :-)

26/01/2011 - 28/01/2011 spent the rest of the week using both crutches and hardly putting any weight at all on right foot as a precautionary measure.

29/01/2011 - Worked my shoulders in the day time and then went to the dog track in the evening (as you do!), being on crutches did prove particularly useful as I was the only one of our group who was able to get a seat! Also won some money too which is always nice :-)

31/01/2011 - lamented the fact that it was the end of January already and reflected on how old that revelation made me feel. Spent a little too long in the supermarket after work and foot felt incredibly achey as a results... lots of ice that night

01/02/2011 - can it really be February already?! Foot felt a lot better, ice at night again

02/02/2011 - foot felt terrible - how unpredictable can one's recovery be?! More ice that night

03/02/2011 - physio appointment! So back to the start we go!

Oh, I forgot to mention earlier that I bought some new heavier ankle weights! They're quite nifty in that they've got individual pockets each containing a 1kg weight:



They are however very cumbersome and unwieldy but I guess that's to be expected at such a weight! I have therefore had to 'cap' the ends (e.g. the part near my fragile ankle!) with my lighter weights to prevent them slipping down and hurting the joint...



... I can attest to the fact that it's not the most aesthetically pleasing solution to this exercise dilemma, but it's pretty effective and as I'm the only one who sees me when I work-out at home, I don't really care either way! ;-)

So that *almost* concludes this update for now! In true Tara fashion I've probably blabbered on far too much but I do hope you've stuck with me :-)

Although I'm obviously not able to do any cardio or lower leg weight training like squats, lunges etc, I'm still keeping up my upper body and core work and I'm feeling very excited about the coming year's competitions during 2011. I couldn't find a list of all the forthcoming bodybuilding, figure, fitness, bikini etc competitions and contests for 2011 where everything was all in one place so I put one together myself.

You can find it here: http://www.tarafitness.com/p/uk-bodybuilding-competition-events.html, I hope it's helpful, it certainly is for me to have all the federations and shows together in a single point of reference!

I had really hoped to do the Muscle Mania/Fitness Britain Show in April this year but realistically I think that might be a bridge too far in terms of it being so close to my surgery so I'm thinking May at the earliest would be for the best. I definitely want to do FAME UK again, it's very expensive but I really enjoyed the experience last year (if you've not seen my pics then here's a link to the album on facebook :-) ). It's funny looking back at pics that are that old, I'm not sure I'd go on stage now if I looked the way I did then - not that I looked 'bad' per se - just not nearly lean enough!

At the moment I'm trying to organise my life as much as possible in terms of scheduling my training in (I trained my tris and bis after work today, was a great session, I felt super strong!).

I'm also cleaning out my diet as much as possible. The only real weakness I can see is alcohol. I don't eat sweets, chocolates, cakes, crisps etc, nor much pasta, bread etc as I prefer to get my carbohydrates from rice/quinoa and vegetables as much as possible.

So for now I've cut out all drinking at home and am limiting myself to when I'm out socialising. We've got friends over next week though so will doubtless have a glass or two of red wine but not much more than that as it's a school night! However, closer to my first show I'm pretty sure I'll cut out the alcohol altogether, I just won't have room for it in my macros!

My protein is quite high at the moment as I'm trying to keep the weight down while I'm so inactive and lose as little muscle as possible. My macro ratios are about 50/30/20 - although my protein was higher today as I had a weights session. I'm really pleased with how things are going, I've actually lost weight recently but bizarrely I'm not pleased about that as I'm pretty certain it's all muscle that has gone from my right leg!

Okay, I'm waffling here, I need to post this and go to bed but I'm super keen to update again soon and also post a few reviews as I've been working my way through the Multipower range and I'm itching to tell you about what I've tried so far, I'm really impressed!

I'm also hoping to start video blogging - vlogging? that must be right, ha! I figure that it would take me a lot less time to waffle into a webcam that it would to type this random stream of consciousness that erupts from my brain at arbitrary intervals. Finding anyone to *watch* it however is a different matter so we'll see how that goes shall we ;-) You'd watch my vlogs wouldn't you? x

Bye for now, stay strong

TJx

UKBFF Stars of Tomorrow 2010 Contest post-mortem

Well hello there lovely people!




Well, after working my arse off for weeks and sticking strictly (and antisocially I might add!) to my diet, I pretty much totally screwed things up on Sunday!

Before I relay my tale of disaster and woe, I'd like just take a moment and say a huge THANK YOU for the lovely messages on twitter and facebook. Essentially I was whinging and feeling mightily sorry for myself at not doing as well as I hoped. But, equally, I was also truly gutted and to say that I was totally overwhelmed and touched by the support I received would be a massive understatement so thank you all - I really appreciated it :-) x

What never fails to astonish and delight me is how supportive people in the fitness industry are of each other. I'm guessing this is because we all acknowledge how hard each and every one of us works to achieve our results.

Training for aesthetics is very different to just training for general health and fitness. Yes, genetics plays a part in your shape, appearance and how easily you can gain muscle and lose fat; but for 99% of us we have to train bloody hard and invest a lot of time and energy into devising and executing specific and effective training and nutrition plans.

As you can imagine, it's all very time consuming. Muscle ache is uncomfortable and often painful, and dieting isn't really all that much fun, especially given that you have to put as much thought into *when* you eat as you do *what* you eat! But ultimately you get out what put in and nothing beats the sense of achievement you feel when witnessing first hand the transformation of your physique into something you've created yourself.

It's a fabulous feeling, truly unbeatable really, and worth every ounce of effort you expend in order to achieve it :-)

Anyway, this post was meant to be a competition de-brief so on with the autopsy!

Saturday 13th November

Saturday I spent frantically trying to finish off a bikini I'd started the week before the comp.

I'd got it into my head that given how little time I'd allowed myself to get into shape for this competition, I probably wouldn't lose all the weight I hoped and therefore if I turned up in a fabulous bikini it might help if I didn't look as great as the other girls on stage.

So I ordered some gorgeous material:



...and set about creating my own design! I had an idea in my mind as to how it would look and it ended up pretty close, just without the stones across the top hem and also the rings at the side of the pants I'd envisaged... I ended up having to go with string ties as I ran out of time :-(

Anyway, here it is:



What do you think?! I was very pleased with how it looked, particularly as I've never made anything before in my life!

I would add however that I did actually just sew the material *over* another bikini, I don't think I'd be skilled enough to create a bikini from scratch, although it did take an eternity for me to arrange the fabric over the bikini cups so the pattern ran the way I wanted and I had to sew an additional panel onto the front of the bikini bottoms as they were sooo low it was almost indecent!!

Now, what should a girl really be doing the night before an important competition? Resting... yes, that's what she should be doing!

Not me though, you see ages ago, Joe had bought us tickets to see the Goo Goo Dolls whom I absolutely adore for their amazing album Dizzy Up the Girl. If you've not heard this album then I implore you to purchase a copy as it is truly a work of art and also on of my favourite of all time... in fact it *would* be my favourite were it not for albums like Muse - Showbiz, Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms and The Best of Billy Joel... guilty pleasures eh? ;-)

So yes, instead of resting and getting an early night, Tara was at the Brixton Academy in raptures watching one of her favourite bands perform to a captivatingly euphoric high standard... the atmosphere was electric, the crowd oozed adulation from every pore, it really was a fabulous night.

Joe and I had had a couple of drinks while we were out and then decided to apply my stage tan when we got in... hmmm, probably not the best idea!

I'd not used Jan Tana Ultra 1 before, but had heard good things and seen pictures of girls looking fabulously tanned. For the FAME UK competition back in May, Joe and I had stood in our spare room while he sprayed me with Pro Tan - very messy indeed! It gave a nice even colour but I did have to top up with Dream Tan which is even more messy as it's basically liquid makeup so got *everywhere*!!

I knew I wouldn't be allowed that again though so though I'd give the Jan Tana a go. Plus... Chady Dunmore uses Jan Tana so if it's good enough for her...!

It went on easily enough but the problem was that we did it in our living room (matron!) where our light fittings aren't working properly (don't get me started...!) so we were relying on a standing lamp that didn't really do much to illuminate the room - or me for that matter...

Sunday 14th November -

...and when I woke up the next day (feeling somewhat groggy I might add!) I was horrified to discover that my tan was massively streaky and a lot darker in some places than others!

Also, and what was worse, whenever my skin came into contact with water, the slightest droplet would create a puddle effect - eek!

Initially I'd decided to put the tan on at night, wake up in the morning, rinse off the residue and was my hair as it needed doing as I'd not cleaned it since Friday when I had it cut. I would then reapply another coat and be done.

When I realised I couldn't get wet this changed things somewhat and resulted in disaster #2 - greasy lank hair - arghh!

As we were running short on time we decided to take the tanning products with us and head over to the venue where we could reapply it and patch up the mess.

Shortly after we set off I realised - disaster #3 - I didn't have any false eyelashes so we had to make a detour via Boots which made us even later!

Although we'd anticipated it not taking much more than 45 minutes to drive, it actually took a *hell* of a lot longer which brings us to disaster #4 as we got stuck in traffic and I almost wasn't allowed to compete! Adding to this stress and introducing us to disaster #5 was the fact that tickets to the show had sold out, and, as we'd not anticipated how popular this event would be, Joe didn't get to sit in the audience with his super duper camera and take pictures - or even cheer for me for that matter! :-(

Anyway, we got backstage and I got into my bikini and set about fixing up my makeup and getting ready to touch up my tan when disaster #6 reared its evil ugly head as I came to the sickening realisation that I didn't have the tan with me... I'd gotten it all ready and in its little carry bag and then left it on the side in the kitchen - arghh! :'-(

We tried touching up with makeup but that didn't help so I ran pleading into the girls' changing rooms where one of the competitors, Laura (who later went on to win the contest - good karma eh :-) ?!) was kind enough to lend me some of her 'show off' tan... I think it's a Jan Tana product too... anyway, what an angel, thank you so so so so much, I'd not have been able to get on stage otherwise as there were white blotches everywhere!!

So, tan patched up as best we could, bottle returned by a perhaps overly effusive grateful Tara (but I was seriously so relieved!), make up finished, lashes in place and all set to go I teetered in my heels to join the other girls.

It was then I realised there were only four of us... which meant that one of us would be disappointed. It hadn't occurred to me that that might be me but my second thought upon joining the other lovely ladies was "shit, they're all a lot leaner than I am!".

Then nerves *really* started to kick in then. Luckily there was a lovely lady backstage called Frankie Boers (who also competes, is gorgeous and has an amazing physique!) who was encouraging us to smile and kick ass so that helped. Also, the other girls were really friendly and cheerful so the atmosphere was great, added to this was the pleasure of meeting my twitter pal, the fabulous @PeteTheFreak! :-)

Frankie also gave us tips on walking - which I really wished I'd practiced more of - but with my ankle injury, wearing heels just doesn't happen very often... it can't - it's too painful!

Disaster #7 occurred within a few seconds of my entrance when I wobbled strode onto the stage of the packed out theatre and completely forgot *everything* that the lovely Wanda Tierney from the UKBFF had meticulously and explicitly told us about what was expected once we were on stage... in fact, disaster #7 just continued to increase exponentially all the time I was on stage!

Firstly, the minute I stepped onto the the stage my legs somehow forgot that there were bones holding them up and instead turned to jelly. Next I forgot that when I walked to the back initially for the start of my 'T-walk' I was meant to perform a front stance followed by a back stance - I just did a front stance - I walked too quickly, held my poses for far too short a space of time and my lips were trembling soo much that I'm not quite sure if I looked like I was smiling or grimacing in pain!!

Next came the comparisons and for some unknown reason my ears and my brain decided to have a massive falling out. I'm not sure what exactly my brain had done wrong but my ears refused to correctly relay the information they were receiving from the judges. I *knew* I was number 66, I had a very large badge to this effect pinned to my bikini which I had looked at many times. And yet still, when the judges called an entirely different number - I think it was 8! - my legs took me over to where they'd moved from!

It wouldn't be so bad if a) I wasn't the *only* one who did this and b) it was an isolated incident. However, I think I incorrectly attempted to swap places about 3 times AND to make matters worse I walked completely the wrong way at one point!

What a numpty eh?

So, after what felt like an eternity of nerves and cock-ups resulting in bikini bottoms feeling like they were riding right up my bum and my heart attempting to leap out of my chest, we were dismissed off the stage while the judges deliberated.

Backstage again my nerves abated, but this only made way for the annoyance at my screwing up to kick in - big time!

We were called back on stage (somebody in the audience actually called out my number too while we were walking out - thank you... you made my day!) and I did my best to put on a nerve-defeating smile as we were presented with fantastic fabulous medals. Well-done to the UKBFF in that respect, it was a clear symbol of the fact that they believe everyone brave enough to compete on stage deserves recognition :-)

Next they announced the top three in reverse order... "In third place... Danielle Pincus!" at this juncture I'd like to point out that I did actually (rather foolishly I now realise) hold out hope that mine might be the next name read out, but alas it wasn't to be and when the judges read out "Nikki Jenkins" I knew then that it was all over, hope was extinguished, and I realised was going to leave disappointed :-(

I did attempt to leave the stage after the trophies were handed out to allow the winners to be photographed, but was told to stand where I was while photos were taken...

I must admit that this was rather tough on the soul as it was a case of "...and here's what you could have won!" as the three other girls stood with their fabulous trophies proudly on display (from left to right: Nikki, Laura, Danielle & me):



I did smile and put on a brave face though, so hopefully I didn't ruin the picture for the rest of them, but inside I felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world, pathetic eh?! I waited afterwards backstage to congratulate the girls and then went back to the dressing room and had a bit of a sob...

I was - and in fact still am - quite taken aback by how upset not placing made me! I know that when you enter contests like this you're setting yourself up for criticism and a possible fall, and I never expected to win. But I did believe I should have placed, and my training was geared towards my own interpretation of winning. I wouldn't have worked as hard as I did if I believed there was not a chance in hell that I might come away with something, what would be the point in that, you don't *train* for fourth place!

I guess that in my mission to escape the perils of mediocrity I'm working towards a winning mentality and, as the saying goes "if you want to be a winner then you have to hate losing".

And I really really hated losing on Sunday - ha!! After all, it's hard enough to miss out on top three but it's even harder when there are only four of you that have entered!

Anyway, I may be a disappointed loser but I'm definitely not a sore loser and the other girls clearly worked their asses off too and their victories were well deserved.

It just means that I've learned a few valuable lessons and that I need to continue working *my* ass off in order to improve on the gains I've made so far. After all, on-stage and pre-comp cock-ups aside, I was still a lot less lean than my competitors and I know that counted against me. I also know that this is something I can change and I fully intend to do so!

The final disaster of the day (what are we - up to 8 now?!) was the journey back home after the competition.

Initially, I has been super happy to learn that the football club I still fondly follow - Sunderland AFC (despite it being years since I split from the boyfriend whose team it was!) - had beaten the Premiership leaders Chelsea by 3 goals to nil! My joy was short lived however as we were caught in the aftermath of this game's match traffic.

I lived in Chelsea for over 10 years so I know the area really well and thought I could get us out of it by taking a few side streets... unfortunately a) everyone else had the same idea and b) although I know the streets well enough to walk and cycle round, driving a car is different as almost all the streets are one-way!!

The journey was just a complete nightmare and took more than twice as long as it should have - at one point it took us over an hour to go less than a mile!

Add to this that I was still feeling pretty down, which was compounded by the fact that Joe's not great in stressful situations involving small spaces, and you end up with pretty much the worst car journey I've ever had! It really effectively and appropriately rounded off a thoroughly miserable day.

The *only* ray of light being the lovely facebook and twitter messages I received so thank you all again so much for keeping me (reasonably) sane!

Anyway, that's a chapter of my life which is complete and all I can do is move on and learn from it so... what next for Tara?

Well, first of all here are a few more pics from the competition:






I'm actually really thrilled with how I look, I certainly didn't look like that a few weeks back!!

These pictures cheered me up a hell of a lot and now I feel a lot more positive about the whole experience :-)

And now, what's next for Tara Stevens?

Well, I'm hoping to do another update soon where I can give you more detail about comps etc, but in brief I've launched back into training with a vengeance and my mission is to shift as much weight as possible (without sacrificing too much muscle) between now and January when I have my ankle operation and am literally off my feet for weeks. This is going to be super tough given how active I am at present but hopefully my relatively high level of fitness will help with my recovery :-)

January and February will be spent building muscle (and inevitably bulk) and then from March onwards I hope to be leaning down and looking to compete again!

This is the game plan and obviously it's all subject to change - I'm still not sure whether I want to stick with Bikini or work towards Figure but I'm going to make that decision once I've seen what my body is capable of, it's still very early days and I've only really spent about 3 months of this entire year in total concentrating hard on my physique. What I've learnt is that I'm enjoying all the challenges I encounter and the diet and training actually suit me really well. I love how good clean eating makes me feel and look and witnessing new muscle definition is truly joyous to me. I'd encourage *anyone* who wants to change their body shape to pick up some dumbbells and embrace the fact that Strong is definitely the new Skinny!

Be back soon with more progress pics and news, as well as some reviews for exciting new products that I've been trying out lately.

In the meantime, stay strong,

TJx