Friday 23 October 2009

Have you met my friend, Will?

Will Power that is...!

Sorry, that was about the lamest cheesiest thing I've ever written

ever!!

I did find that smug mode was initiated several times throughout the course of Wednesday though

here's why:

AM: arrive at venue for all day pension systems event (yes, I could hardly contain my excitement either!) - have coffee, no biscuits

Break: boss gets me coffee, pops a shortbread finger on my saucer... which I remove - boss then eats

Lunch: look forlornly at the mass of bread and deep fried offerings on the buffet table (ciabatta rolls, spring rolls, crispy duck, potato salad, filo pastry parcels etc - not a salad leaf in sight!) - opt for 1/4 of a seeded brown bread sandwich with egg and one with tuna, a little bit of duck and a teeny amount of potato salad - NO deep fried pastry rolls/parcels for me!

sit down, eat offering, then whip out the strawberry Maximilk (wasn't bothered about the looks I'd get, I was already out of place having turned up in jeans, a sweatshirt (albeit a nice smart one) and my goretex MBTs - nobody told me anything about business dress, we don't have that where we work!!) and poured it into a glass... whilst the remaining people on my table went and refilled their plates, at least once, often twice!

Post Lunch: very dismayed to see zero fruit - except those on the shortcrust pastry and custard cups. The puddings looked very nice indeed but I knew that I'd feel shit if I ate them as I didn't *need* to, and I had a Promax Crisp barfor afters in my bag as well as Promax Diet bar in case I got *really* hungry

I was prepared. If you fail to prepare, you should prepare to fail. I didn't fail, I didn't stuff my face with deep fried products or cave into the lovely pastries, and BOY did they look tasty. I had what I needed with me to ensure I wouldn't get hungry as that would diminish my willpower

Dinner: I did the classic 'food shopping when hungry', which is always bad as you end up buying the whole supermarket. However, I don't buy rubbish foodstuff (unless specifically requested by my boys) so I ended up getting a veritable nibble feast for us consisting of corn on the cob, mini pots of low fat homous to have with carrot batons, celery, cucumber etc... a pot of giant cous cous and chickpeas.

The boys had opted for pizza, and there was some macaroni cheese they wanted to share too... fine! I had 2 halves (one red, one yellow) of a pepper stuffed with cous cous, quinoa (cooked with a chicken stock cube for flavour), baked in the oven and sprinkled with 25g mature cheddar.

Plus of course we had the obligatory mixed leaf salad with cherry tomatoes... very lucky that both Joe and my son are as much salad freaks as I am!

So I felt very virtuous, and I didn't even have a nibble of pizza.

But I didn't feel like I was 'missing out', which is a new experience for me. You see, since I started to see real results to my body, it's given me the momentum to continue along the same route that I've been taking.

I think that's what I needed, to see evidence, physical evidence that my efforts were paying off. Now I can get into clothes that I haven't worn for over a year, I actually *like* my body now (and I'm not just saying it, I'm so chuffed with how I look right now :-) ) and every time I walk past a shop window or mirror etc and catch sight of my reflection I feel happy with what I see - I'm NOT uncomfortable in my own skin (as well as clothes!) as I was a few months ago.

It's such a lovely feeling, like a huge relief really. I know there are parts of me I'm still working on and want to change, but I also know that that's GOING to happen, not that it 'might'.

So I don't 'need' to snack on junk and fat just because it's there and everyone else is. That's not to say that I'll *never* eat another calorific dessert when I'm out for a nice dinner, but I don't feel like I'm missing out if I don't do it just because it's 'there' and everyone else is... in fact, quite the contrary, I feel like I'm gaining - gaining more of a sense of self-worth and every step is a positive move towards an even-more improved me :-)

TJx

3 comments:

  1. wow, beyond cheesy! But impressive willpower all the same!

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  2. bung a bit of that willpower my way will ya?

    ;-)

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  3. I HATE the business events/workshops/training sessions where all they do is supply refined carbs that leave everyone sleepy & on target for health problems! I'm wheat-intolerant so even if it were healthy stuff I'd have to say no. Why don't they do fruit? It's cheap enough! Grrr! You're lucky you didn't get cross-examined. I get the 3rd degree and a poor 'I wonder if she has an eating disorder' look from overweight out of shape colleagues!!!!

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